Runners Low

You always hear about "runner's high", but not much about "runners low:"  that nagging feeling you get Saturday mornings at 5:30, that won't let you sleep in;  that there is something else you should be doing.

It has been 3 weeks since my last run.

I've always had a little pain in my right leg.  It was mild, then moderate, then a couple weeks ago, I went for a run, and got about 200 m before throwing in the towel and limping home.

I went to the doctor last week.  She told me to stop running.  Probably for good.  I spent the day mourning my immortality, and trying to face the fact that I may be a swimmer-only for the rest of my exercise existence.  From the moment I started running, I knew I wouldn't last forever.  When I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, I asked the doctor what I should do for exercise to which she replied "well, you won't be running any marathons." I guess I took it as a bit of a challenge. . .   The way I see it - I'm going to be a hunched over old lady anyway, I might as well get that way because I actually did something.  So, I started running.  Surprisingly, I think it actually helped in my case - my increased circulation and muscle tone prevented me from "freezing."  And ok, I got a good deal of pain relief from endorphins (yes, I'm self-medicating.)  So, I have a hard time taking "No" for an answer.  Call me crazy, but I'm not ready to quit yet.

I went to a physiotherapist (that's a "physical therapist," Americans.)  After putting me in the iron maiden, and other methods of torture, he said "no, that's not arthritis - you've probably got a tear on the tendon that attaches your hamstring to your hip process."  Yep.  I blew a hammie.  This is actually good news - it's fixable.  Right now, my choices are 1) surgery, or 2) do lots of physio and then perhaps run slow the rest of my life.  Right now, I just want to be able to walk without limping.

I think I can handle slow.  Maybe.